Berubah

Naluri ku berkata
ku ingin dirinya
walau untuk sebentar
tidak mengapa
ku mencari kasih
hingga ke akhir
tak terjumpa
walaupun beralun
berdampar denganmu
aku gelisah
kau ku hilang
aku tegila
semua manusia
apa bezanya

tak pernah berubah...

ashraf ishak
2:02 a.m.
24hb Disember 08'
Subang Jaya

Hari esok

100th post of this blog. =) Happy New Year!.

Malam ini
kedengaran angin berdesing
deras
mengalir
seru ombak tuk datang
aku ditemani
sunyi lagi
duduk disini
kelihatan awan berdansa
bersama jiwaku
bersama cahaya
seperti aku tak percaya
masihkah ada hidup
di hari esok

ashraf ishak
21hb December 08'
12:21 Malam
Surabaya

Lalang

Masa menukar persepsi manusia

Kenapa kota
berasap dusta
berarak kufur
nikmat dunia
kita belum habis menyoal
tujukan ia
pada mereka-mereka
yang tidak punya
arah tuju
falsafah kerenah
dan semua itu
tidak membuatkan kau
lebih pandai dari aku
bukankah kau
salah seorang
dari mereka dahulu
lalang tak mati
sudah bertumbuh

ashraf ishak
2:31 Pagi
6 Disember 08'
Subang Jaya

Now I know (the girl in the train)

Yesterday I took the train back home as usual. I was seated at the back of the train with a friend. I reached my destination and got out of my seat, but a girl (in her early 20's), whom I thought was rather attractive was standing up, blocking my way. Being polite I asked to be excused.

She looked at me smiling. I smiled back. As I was about to go out, I kept looking back at her. I barely even knew who she was.

Now I know. I know that if I don't take my chances, I wouldn't know what might happen. But if we were to meet each other again (InsyaAllah), then it was fate that God has brought us together.

Ya

Ya
jika kau melakar
detik hitam
maka bertukar
bipolar
psikologi manusia
masa
dan tak tentu arah
selingkuh
maupun berpanah
egoist
seorang wira
mati bersama
wataknya

dan ya
jika kau melakar
detik hitam
maka bertukar
pemikiran bipolar
psikologi manusia

ashraf ishak
6:12 Pagi
30Hb November 08'
Rumah

Sempurna

Sambungan kepada puisi Keliru

Kau
menyempurnakan
yang tidak sempurna
dan memanggil orang bisu
kerana bodoh ilmu

Hah!
kau mertawakan dirimu
yang kecil
walhal pandai menilai
baik dan buruk

Dan benci kau
pada aku
kerana apa?
kerana semua kejahilan kau
terhadap dunia

Situ!
aku sudah sebutkan semua
aku juga manusia
tak pernah sempurna

ashraf ishak
4:20 Pagi
29Hb November 08'
Rumah

Afro queen

Come to me
my afro queen
and we shall dance
the night away
the pain won't heal
transparent lights
as stars take flight
into the night
skies come crashing
with the wind
a beauty sorrowed
love
and you fell
into an awkward dream
where you and I (again)
rejoice with tumbling
joys of God forbidden Eve
I was taken by the sight
of heavenly streams
but then again deceived
where you and I (again)
shall forever live
my beautiful
afro queen

ashraf ishak
4:16 AM
26Th November 08'
Subang Jaya

Kerana aku tak peduli lagi

Mari berdeklamasi
un, deux, trois
di atas katil
langsir terbakar
median perantaraan
babak-babak kecil
illusi mainan
figmen
minda yang fickle
dan aku berfikir
semua agenda
manifesto kau
berpaut penipuan
judgemental
dengan angan-angan
esok lusa
kau berpusing
dan bertanya
apa salahku
kau telah
membunh diri
dengan jawapan
yang sedia ada

ashraf ishak
12:04 Tengahari
11 November 08'
Rumah

Anak kecil

Kedengaran suara
anak kecil
dari jauh
hilang tumpuanku
buat seketika
semua masalahku
tiada
gelak tawanya itu
membuat semua terdiam
seolah kelam
bunyi dominant
bertepuk-tepuk
teriak
melalak
memekak
suatu bahasa
yang tak difahami manusia
kemudian
anak kecil itu membesar
janggal dengan dunia
serba kejam
tiada lagi dia
bertepuk
teriak
melalak
memekak

ashraf ishak
3:58 Petang
17 November 08'
Seri Setia

Make blue skies rain

A breaking storm awaits
in mids of
bleak
passionate haze 
beyond that of which 
every corner 
in every second 
take by take 
mute 
grey 
winds delay 
a prayer for those 
not so lucky today 
and I thank God 
I'm not one of them 
pupils turn red 
in tears 
as they make 
the blue skies rain

ashraf ishak 
3:12 PM
12Th November 08' 
Kuala Lumpur

Keliru

Di mana
dunia kau
berbentuk segi tiga
mata bujur
terpaku di bucu kepala

Hoi! kau yang terdiam
tidak bolehkah kau
berkata-kata

aku teriak
dengan bangganya
mujurlah
kau tak melawan

bodoh?
siapa yang bodoh?
aku atau kau?

kemudian
kau berkata padaku

engkau itu
bersifat penipu
engkau
binatang bernafsu

aku keliru

ashraf ishak
3:23 Pagi
6 November 08'
Rumah

Demi masa

Hari ini
dunia masih bertakbir
dengan nama Mu
pencipta dunia
aku masih lalai
dengan kesenangan
yang ada
dan dengan tiba-tiba
ditakdirkan
aku ditarik nyawa
semua jawapan ku kelak
tak mungkin diterima

demi masa
sesungguhnya manusia
kerugian

ashraf ishak
2:55 Petang
5 November 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Lain

Ketika
waktu terhenti
menyata cinta
aku tercela
dimaki
kenapa
tak pernah
aku
membuat kau
merasa tercantik
kenapa
aku tak pernah
percaya
kenapa mungkin
kita tak pernah jadi
terlalu banyak alasan
tapi
semua itu salah
aku sendiri
melepaskanmu
dari genggamanku
dengan harapan
kau kan bahagia
dengan yang lain

ashraf ishak
3:02 Pagi
5 November 08'
Rumah

December love

Surprisingly, this poem wasn't written in December, nor was it written on the Christmas eve. It was a spur of the moment ending which I thought fitted the poem really well. Enjoy.

I was unsoundly
asleep
in a bitter place
taken by the thoughts
may be you
we spent hours
looking at the stars
and we glitter ourselves
to our spoken dreams
and spoke
of our future
in future
and past tense
pretended we cared less
as of when
it was time to leave
I shall never forget
that night
of Christmas eve

ashraf ishak
10:35 a.m.
4Th November 08'
Subang Jaya

A dream I never once had

A burst
of morning sun
brightly
into my eyes
burning me
into a malevolent
indefinite
introvert
calling me
for the sea
the air
that grasps
a clench
a hold
of everything
in between
needless
of speech
splendour belongings
motion of diversion
and I am lost
once again
in a dream
I never once
had

ashraf ishak
20Th October 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Manusia kecil hati

Kau
ku lihat
bibir tersenyum luas
sempurna semuanya
bukan lagi janji
kau tunggukan

Aku
sentiasa mengingin
selalu mahu
terkadang mengidam
apa yang kau ada
kau bertuah
dah berpunya

Aku?
tak mungkin
akan ada
mimpi itu lagi

aku manusia
kecil hati

ashraf ishak
8:55 Malam
29 Oktober 08'
Rumah

Tidur

Aku tak boleh tidur
kelam kabut
dunia
sampai masa
ada pelita
membakar dirinya
"pergi!"
kau katakan padaku
biar aku mati
sendiri
terlalu tua
untuk kau peduli
"mampus!"
kau jerit padaku
hanya pondok usang
rumahmu
lampu kecil
cahayamu
pendosa dunia
yang tak mampu
tidur lagi

ashraf ishak
4:31 ptg
28 Oktober 08'
Rumah

Ke hadapan bintang jatuh II

Ke hadapan bintang jatuh
malam ini
tak cerah
untuk ku lihat
kau bersinar
jauh
tak ku dekatkan
hati ini padamu
seperti insan seni
yang menyepi
tiap kelam
ku ajukan
mungkin bukan
dan belum lagi
untuk bintang itu jatuh

ashraf ishak
25 Oktober 08'
Kuala Lumpur

shadows

Look at my hands
they are dirty
and broken
glass wove
your hair
into splendour
waving goodbye
was her best
kept secret
it doesn't
amuse me
that it took
half her lifetime
to come by
snickering at
the thought why
nothing was endless
at a glance
she dances
to the skies
never took shadows
out
on her own
for a walk

ashraf ishak
6:11 p.m.
25Th October 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Bila senja mula reda

Dunia berputar
mengejar masa

diam
tuk seketika
bila senja
mula reda

air yang mengalir
ke lautan
hilang
bersama awan

diam
tuk seketika
bila senja
mula reda

tanah hitam
ku genggam
ku jadikan
penangan

diam
tuk seketika
bila senja
mula reda

angin tak
dihembus
bila aku
tlah mati

diam
tuk seketika
bila senja
mula reda

ashraf ishak
3:57 petang
13 Oktober 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Ku panggil cinta

ketika itu
wajahmu
saksiku
bertukar waktu
menjadi pilu
dan kakulah
dunia
sementara
cinta masih ada
beradu penat
dan lelah
sepertinya
duka dan lara
tak pernah ada
kau bagiku sempurna
terlalu indah
namun nyata
aku ini bukan
semua yang terindah
aku salah
menaruh harapan
di atas katil berbungakan duri
dusta semata-mata
aku mencuri
khayalan itu ku panggil
cinta

ashraf ishak
10 Oktober 08'
11:25 p.m.
Rumah

Kini

Perlahan ku berjalan
walaupun tak tahu
ke mana
titisan air hujan
sekali lagi
merangkul nyawaku
membalut hatiku
dengan wajah
sepi dan silu
petang itu seperti
tak ada akhirnya
seperti semua lukaku
terbiar
berdarah bersama
senyuman mesranya
sebak hati
merangkap perpisahan
kasih dan sayang
kau buang

tapi itu semua dulu
aku kini sudah bahagia

ashraf ishak
6:27 Petang
8 Oktober 08'
Subang Jaya

Hujan

Hujan itu rahmat dunia
hujan itu semua sempurna
hujan itu titik terakhir
hujan tandanya aku dah mati

ashraf ishak
5:03 Petang
8 Ogos 08'
Subang Jaya

Hari Bintang Jatuh


Seperti tertera di atas saya akan mengambil bahagian di dalam persembahan yang dinamakan Hari Bintang Jatuh, sebuah projek yang dijayakan oleh Wani Ardy pada 25 Oktober ini. Dijemput semua untuk datang memeriahkan lagi keadaan. Hope to see you there. Terima kasih.

Untitled 19

Funny how i come up with something random and it just keeps on going. It's my orgasm of words. Enjoy.

when the sun
caught my eyes
submerged with feelings
of nothingness
in between
it wakes me up
from my sleep
nodding
for yes and no's
understandable conversations
of infinite, undefined
answers that intertwine
and soon it all was lost
once again
beaten
inside out
without a face to look at again
trapped
were those that didn't
find a way back
out of a shelf
carefully stacked
under twinkling stars
that re attracts
millions turned on and off
back and forth
and i see you
walking past me
with nothing to hide
except those things ugly
that you
are for once ashamed of
turning me into your scapegoat
of love

ashraf ishak
3:36 p.m.
23rd September 08'
home

Oh dunia

Oh dunia
mahukah kau
mengisi ruang hidupku
atau
haruskah ku melihatmu
dari jauh
aku tak punya sesiapa
untuk mendampingi
hidupku nan sepi
walau bulan tetap menyata
rasa rinduku padanya
dia sekadar tak peduli
manakan mungkin
kau tlah lupa
diriku siapa
entah dimana
aku meletakkan hatiku
bukan di kepala

oh dunia
mahukah kau
mengisi ruang hidupku ini
atau
haruskah aku tetap mencari

ashraf ishak
11:45 pagi
15 September 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Sleep

Sincere appologies
are made
not to be made
for the mistakes
the day I closed
the doors
to my heart
was the day
you walked in
emptied vessels
of you and me
didn't make up
for the tragedies
although
it keeps coming back
to me
that we were never
suppose to be
and I blame myself
for things that
shouldn't happen
when
I could have gotten
what I deserved
as a blessing
to my disguise
while sleep is redundant
this day is full of
dissapointment and regrets
and sleep is the only
vacation I get

ashraf ishak
12th August 08'
11:28 a.m.
Home

Tak ada

kalaulah ada
yang boleh membuatku jatuh cinta
seperti menunggu bulan
jatuh ke riba
atau
aliran sungai yang berderai
memecah sunyi
sepi kalbuku ini
aku rindu pada si dia
sisa hidupku tak boleh dihabiskan
dengan diam
hitam putih
pecah
cuma yang tinggal
hanyalah kenangan
yang ku kait dari langit
adalah hatiku
yang kian menjerit
dengan perit
tak ada yang mungkin
mencintai aku

ashraf ishak
5:49 pagi
7 September 08'
Rumah

Ke hadapan bintang jatuh

Ke hadapan bintang jatuh
haruskah ku menendang
pintu pasir
untuk menembus hatimu
aku
tidak tahu bagaimana
atau apa cara lagi
tidakah kau?
begitu aku melihat wajahmu
serik
aku tuk jatuh lagi
kau sinar gelap
segalanya
putih bergemerlapan
seindah malam
tak pernah kau tahu
rahsia ku lagi
sedalam mungkin
itu sahaja harapanku
untuk kau tahu

biarlah ini kali terakhir
ku memberitahumu

ashraf ishak
2:41 Pagi
Rumah

People and going places

Al-Fatihah for Arwah Pak Samad that passed on today. This poem is dedicated to him.

Moving forward
and not back again
hoping life
would not be the same
yellow steaks of light
breaking the dust of dawn
before midnight
waiting and waiting
till the time is right
circling and circling
with an open mind
an open view of time
people and going places
until it becomes tiring
we will not stop moving

ashraf ishak
10:14 a.m.
21st August 08'
Kuala Lumpur

End

Colours in my skies
ruins in the shadows
black as uttered
ocean blue
scraping high
oxygen tank
humanity
profanity
anti-gravity
red thunder bolt
fierce as wild
green
the lands
peace, love
and happiness
made for men
and my heart is darkened
by the day
waiting for it
to end

ashraf ishak
6:57 a.m.
29Th Aug 08'
Home

ART FOR GRABS - The Merdeka Weekend Collission

"There was something for everybody at The Annexe that weekend, with countless events, workshops, talks and festivities of sorts colliding and strangling each other for space and attention." -- Kakiseni.com

From: Saturday, August 30, 2008 at 12:00pm
To: Sunday, August 31, 2008 at 11:00pm
Location: The Annexe Gallery, Central Market Annexe
Street: Jalan Hang Kasturi
City/Town: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia


Contact: 03-20701137
Email: pang.centralmarket@gmail.com





ART FOR GRABS + INVENTING MALAYSIA
+ SEKSUALITI MERDEKA + CAFE MERDEKA

If you have never been to The Annexe Gallery's art bazaar, you simply have no idea just how cool KL has become. It's not just the checking out of affordable art or the young, sexy artists selling themselves, but also the buzz, the uber-cool folks and the happy clash of culture and counter-culture in a pot of arty love. If you have been, you know the drill! Save your money, and more importantly, your energy! You are gonna want to spend the whole weekend here.

ADMISSION FREE to ALL EVENTS!


A MERDEKA COLLISSION

The last round, we brought you rock gigs, alternative book fair, dance workshops and lots of stalls. This time we have...

+ + + +

ART FOR GRABS
Sat 30 to 31 Aug, 12pm to 8pm
Annexe Gallery 2 & 3
2nd Floor, Central Market Annexe

Forty arty stalls including those by witty artist Munkao, poet-illustrator Shahril Nizam, blogger Saharil, artist musician Fathullah Luqman, intrepid journalist Jacqueline Ann Surin launching The Nut Graph, photojournalist Danny Lim, photographer Erna Dyanty, found-object sculptor Lisa Foo, the ever wonderful Gerai Orang Asli and many more. Let's see what Cenderahati Merdeka they've come up with for the masses!

All items for sale are under RM100 each!

+ + + +

INVENTING MALAYSIA
Sat 30 Aug to Sun 31 Aug, 11am to 7pm
Annexe Gallery 5
1st Floor, Central Market Annexe

Constructions of Malaya during the Colonial Era to the Present in film, photography and the popular imagination by TheOtherMalaysia and Dr Farish A Noor

Exploring the historical development of the idea of Malaysia itself, and how ideas of race, ethnicity and "native identity" - from culture ro sexuality - were invented from the colonial era to the present. INVENTING Malaysia will include lectures, exhibition of archival materials, and film screenings of movies about Malaya/Malaysia that were made around Merdeka, looking at how Malaya was perceived from the perspective of the Occidental worldview.

+ + + +

SEKSUALITI MERDEKA
Fri 29 to Sun 31 Aug, Check schedule below
Annexe Gallery 4 + 1
1st + 2nd Floor, Central Market Annexe

Forums, workshops, film screenings and story telling with an angle on sexuality rights, by creating understanding, championing compassion and empowering the marginalised. The aim is to promote the freedom to love, and the freedom to live without fear of violence and harrassment for your preferences!

+

Fri 29 Aug

8pm to 10.30pm: Film: "Comolot" by Mohd Ikram Ismail, "Pangyau" by Amir Muhammad, and "Arisan" by Nia Dinata

+

Sat 30 Aug

12pm to 2pm: Forum: To Live Without Fear ~ Dealing with violence against transsexuals in Malaysia

3pm to 5pm: Forum: Probing Sexualities ~ Recent research findings into sexual diversity in Malaysia

6pm to 7.30pm: Lecture: Psychology Of Homophobia ~ Find out if you fit the profile

8.30pm to 10.30pm: Storytelling: Heartbreakers Anonymous ~ Stories by Jit Murad, Dara (of Air-Con), Julian Jayaseela & others

+

Sun 31 Aug

12pm to 2pm: Lecture: From Panji To The Present ~ A short history of sexuality in Malaysia and South East Asia by Dr Farish A Noor

3pm to 5pm: Workshop: Tongues Out ~ Borak-borak on our sexuality landscapes

6pm to 7pm: Music: Malaysian Artistes For Diversity with Ning Baizura, Ida Nerina and more

+ + + +

MERDEKA CAFE
Sat 30 to Sun 31 Aug
Annexe Gallery 1, check schedule below
2nd Floor, Central Market Annexe

Enjoy songs and poetry by some of KL's best singer-songwriters and poets in a cafe we created in the gallery. Plus food and drinks by Precious Restaurant. Merdeka Cafe is a pork-free environment!

+

Sat 30 Aug

1pm to 3pm: Gemerlapan, Izzy Mohamed, Priya Kulasagaran, Zalila Lee

3.30pm to 6pm: Sherry, Black, Azmyl Yunor, Alina Rastam, Meor

+

Sun 31 Aug

1pm to 3pm: Peter Hassan + Markiza, 13 Voices In My Head, Liyana Yusof + Alia Ali, Mei Chern

3.30pm to 5pm: Fathulistiwa Soundscapes, Bernice Chauly, Jerome Kugan

6pm to 7pm: Malaysian Artistes For Diversity featuring Nikki, Ida Nerina and more!



Remember: ADMISSION FREE to ALL EVENTS!!!

*Will be performing with my side project called Gemerlapan, So do check us and other wonderfull acts. Support your local artists and musicians

Ngilu

Kecil hatiku
terasa sepi
dalam gelap ku mencari
diriku ini
seperti biasa
di mana mimpi itu
ku letak
ku lepas
ku genggam
kau hancurkan
kau simpan
kau dendamkan
bisakah ku mencintaimu
bila kau membuatku
ngilu

ashraf ishak
20 Ogos 08'
11:18 a.m.
Kuala Lumpur

Instead

I could feel
the comforts
of your arms
hugging me
and deeply I fall
slender
both left and right
ignorant
of the death
that became me
I took a vow
never to leave this way
but I did
and now
the world has put it's weight
on my shoulder
but I am no longer afraid
aware of the fact
I have you hear, instead

ashraf ishak
20Th August 08'
10:51 a.m.
Kuala Lumpur

Isnin yang muram

Pagi ini
ku mengambil keretapi
ke tempat ku baru pelajari
kemudian
ku berjalan kaki lagi
awan masih muram
mungkin masih sedih
dari semalam
aku penat
tetap menunggu
kau datang
tak pernah berwaktu
kemudian kau hanya diam
siapa yang kau fikirkan
bukankah aku
kau hanya senyum sipi
tanpa kau ketahui
lirik hatiku
berdebar
ku sabar untuk kau datang

tak perlu kau bersedih lagi

ashraf ishak
12:02 Tengahari
18HB Ogos 08'
Kuala Lumpur

Pemilik hatiku

Hanya ku mengilhami
kehadiran mu kasih
untuk selamanya aku
menaruhkan lagi
tiap saat
tak terkira jauhnya
dan setiap detik
ku inginkan jua
semua yang indah
itu kamu
semua yang terpauh
padaku
suci itu debu
menebus
rindu aku padamu
keringkan keheningan malam
membuat malamku terdiam
membunuh gundah
terjah
kerna setiap saat
tak terkira jauhnya
dan setiap detik
ku inginkan jua
kau ada denganku
mengiringi mimpi-mimpi
indahku
hanya kaulah saja
pemilik hatiku

ashraf ishak
2:05 Petang
15 Ogos 08'
Johor

Beautiful life

She sweeps the dust
off her eyes
and light the furnace
on fire
forgetting
not remembering
yesterday's sorrow
a feud was fought
and brought to thought
mirroring broken chests
that kept all secrets alive
they wallowed through the streets
with wee amount of sleep
galloping and walloping
breathtaking views
divine in spirits of summer
colder in winter
stranger dreams reoccur
like broken hearts
that light ashore
promiscuous
of beautiful nights
eager to be told
as one's
sad
but beautiful life

ashraf ishak
6:15 a.m.
11Th August 08'
Home

Permainan cinta

Kasih, maafkan aku membahaskan cinta.

Izinkan hatiku
untuk bersuara
tanpa menentu arah
ku buntu berkata
izinkan aku
menyusun maaf
bagi dirimu
yang tak punya salah
ku cuma tak terdiam
yang tersimpan
perasaan
buaian mimpi ini
hanya milikku
andai kau terasa
seolah tiada bintang
ku janjikan
tak tercapai
ini semua paksaan
permainan cinta

ashraf ishak
2:39 Pagi
11 August 08'
Rumah

Apakah ini cinta?

Untuk si dia yang mengisi hidup baruku.

Gemuruh rasanya
bila bercinta
berpegangan tangan
bercerita
mimpi
ku terdiam
tak terbahas
tak terkata
kau hadir
dalam hidupku
setelah menghilang
kaku
mungkin aku sahaja
tak terbiasa
lalu kau buatku
bahagia
sekalipun aku
masih
tak percaya

apakah ini cinta?

ashraf ishak
3:51 pagi
5hb August 08'
Rumah

Ditipu oleh cinta

Semalaman
ku terjaga
di saat itu
ku sadari
siapa
ku enggan berkata
tiada apa
ku bersabda
falsafah dunia
bercanggah
disuap penipuan belaka
dan aku pula
ditipu oleh cinta

ashraf ishak
11:17 p.m.
31 Julai 08'
Rumah

One eye broken

If I could only see
with one eye broken
I could seal a kiss
with those lips
whispering
pampering
a night of
blooming passion
fired up
taking those thoughts
and throwing it back
I cant hold on to
I can't take you
I cannot feel no more
cause all I feel
is cold

If only I could see
with one eye broken

ashraf ishak
8:34 p.m.
31st July 08'
Home

Love is

The best thing to do
is wait for love
instead of looking for it
and when the time comes
the right one will appear
and disappear
swallow you fear

cause
love is
unbroken to bits
but could be glued
love is a clue
to what life is
love is
everything I need
to live

love is condescend
to comprehend
love is
the ups and downs
the highs the ground
and
love is
everything i need
to live

ashraf ishak
11:57 p.m.
30Th July 2008
Home

Tegar

Sebagai lelaki
ku harus berkata-kata
dari hati
melihat awan menyepi pergi
membuka selimutku
dari mimpi

Aku lupa
pertemuan kita
tatkala semuanya
indah berlaka

Dan pabila ku tahu
semua itu tipu
aku kalah
retak seribu

Aku tak tegar
mencintai dirimu lagi

ashraf ishak
5:53 a.m.
24 Julai 2008
Rumah

Aku adalah aku

Aku mengisi
kekosongan diriku
dengan seni nan indah
tapi tak pernah punya penentu
arah tuju
atau sesuatu
yang boleh buat aku
diriku yang sebenar
aku buta
tanpa yang aku butuh
namun aku tidak tau
apa itu yang kumahu
gelak, tawa, diam
aku menangis
dan tangisan itu
ku pejam
ku pendam
aku tetap tak akan
mencuba tuk berubah
kerna aku adalah aku

ashraf ishak
3:16 a.m.
18 Julai 08'
Damansara

Cemburu

Haruskah
kau berubah
walaupun
tuk sebentar
sudah kau menyata
terima apa adanya

kau berhenti
di titik akhir
aku berlari
mencari siapa
diriku ini

angin menghembus
pergi
lalu hilang nyawaku
sepi
ku terjaga
dan terlena
saat kau tiada
lebih bahagia
dalam mimpi
dari alam nyata ini

maafkan aku
cuma lelaki cemburu

ashraf ishak
8:12 Pagi
19 Jun 08'
Rumah

Karma

The day I hate the word "karma" is the day I used it

I approve
a code aggression
a televised
confession
like water that leaked
deprived concession
I'm not talking
about the leaders
I'm just talking
bout the people
so there would be
human rights
and
every one's equal
our money
that they used
for physical abuse
like no man's an island
could refuse
so I used
the best way possible
get it straight
get a date
or get on weight
get on hate
and you shall pay

cause karma's a bitch
you just made it that way

Duniawi

Puisi sebelum ku ke Kota Mekkah

Selamat tinggal
duniawi
kini aku
meninggalkanmu
dengan sehelai kain
bersenjata
diriku yang kosong
akan ku pulang
dengan jiwa yang tenang
tak lagi berbohong
pada diriku
segala dosa
ku tebus
menghembus nafas
menapak
melangkah
sudah ku lupa
kau siapa
kini
cuma aku dan Dia

siapa kau
duniawi

ashraf ishak
3:25 pagi
7 Jun 08'
Rumah

Puisi untuknya

Wahai kekasihku
yang manja
kau ku punya
setiap masa
takkan pernah bertukar
walaupun lautan bergelora
ku hanya ingin disampingmu
mengisi hari dan waktumu
pabila kau menjadi punyaku
hanya Tuhan saja yang menentu
ku bahagia memilikimu
hanya Dia saja yang tahu


ashraf ishak
10:58 a.m.
6 Jun 08'
Rumah

Aku tak mahu tidor

Semalaman
ku terjaga
memuaskan nafsu
berkata-kata
merangkul subuh
lupakan saja
aku tak tegar
menutup mata

ashraf ishak
7:22 pagi
29 Mei 08
Rumah

Untitled

A smile whip lashed
from her face
eyes furious
from amazed
the time that struck
took too long
abide a season's winter
hiding from the sun
embrace shadows
lighting feud
fuel to fire
harmonious embezzlement
specimens of
concrete truth in lies

I still think of her smile
every now and then
and that smile will always
remind me of her

ashraf ishak
6:32 a.m.
29Th May 08
Home

Home

The faded morning
of the sun
beautiful
to the eyes of one
simplified but magnified
a trillion times
mystique, complicated
unique, comprehended
non could touch the stars
or blink for a moment without
your hands trembling
showing to the south
as the journey departed
the praying goes on
half hearted heroes
keeping strong
for a road
that leads back home


ashraf ishak
7:50 a.m.
24th May 08'
Home

Sangsi

Sambungan dari puisi "Aku ada disana"

Sangsiku
ke mana engkau pergi
langit gelap
matahari
kepastian yang pasti
kan datang
cuma waktu yang membilang
gerak geri cinta
sengaja ku hitung
tapi tak sengaja ku diam
langit ku junjung
ku pegang
tapi mata yang merasa
kepahitan

Sangsi...
lupakan diriku ini


ashraf ishak
3:45 pagi
23 Mei 2008
Rumah

We, the leaders of tomorrow

Why does the carcass
burn fire
red and black
hatred and desire

Why does our gun
speak the leaders
turn nations into prisons
for the will of our own future

Why does our men
serve for a believe
a cause served to bleed

why do we rob
our own brothers
and make excuses
that there was never peace
in our land

We are the providers of hate
we are the ignorant
we are grandsons to the corrupted
we
the leaders of tomorrow

ashraf ishak
3:09 AM
20Th May 08'
Subang Jaya

Mati

Sebentar lagi aku pergi
jauh dari kenanganmu
jauh dari mimpi-mimpi
jauh dari dirimu

aku pasti
tak kembali
menaruh harapan
tak bererti

di balik itu
aku terfikir
seolah terjadi
semuanya yang sepi

detik-detik akhir
nafas udara
tercelar
aku dibiar
begitu sahaja

untuk mati

ashraf ishak
20 Mei 08
2:48 p.m.
rumah

Blasphemy

monotomy
brilliant green
satin
life like
untaken
and unshaken
beauty withtakes
what beauty embrace
oddly subsequent
inefficient
interwine inperfection
alas
the times spent
morover
passionate
priceless
quiet and unaware
untill it all
dispurse
into despair

the light
of blue
a blur line
of me
and you


ashraf ishak
5:24 A.M.
5/05/08
home

My own

Black
is my colour right now
brown is my heart
blue are my eyes
red is my skin
yellow are my emotions
in a nicotine filled room
tender blessed takings
i am pure
but to you dirty
i am sceptical
and again
afraid
afraid to die alone
it was as if
yesterday
I had fallen in love
but now
again
unlike how it used to be
unprepared
protected by my own
insecurities

ashraf ishak
4:46 am
1st May 08
Home

Paintbox

Written for two people that recently fell in love.

Box of colours
you bought
you bought me flowers
you brought me joy
unexpected joy
I have you
and I have you
to love
I can see it in your eyes
I could hold you in my arms
and now
its finally true
that you
brought me love
you...
bring me happiness
and I
have you
and only you
to be with

ashraf ishak
4:54 a.m
1st May 08
home

Always on my mind

We had our share
of reds and blues
and with whatever
that coincides
with the feelings
we had inside
the mind
never stops forgetting
but instead
only recreates
the situations
that we contemplate
out of nowhere
the mind wonders
and only glare
to the past
we had left behind
only to find
you were the one
that was always
on my mind

ashraf ishak
11/02/05
8:00 p.m.
Home

Mimpi?

Aku butuh dirimu
di sisiku
walaupun
tak pernah punya waktu

aku inginkan
keyakinan
di saat ia hilang
dan datang

Aku mengharapkan
semua yang indah
slalu ada

Aku pasti
semua yang terjadi
ada hikmahnya

Aku buntu
saat kau pergi dariku

Keliru....








Akankah ia

hanya mimpi?





ashraf ishak
5:15 a.m.
15 April 2008
Rumah

Aku seorang penulis

Aku
penchopet hati
pencuri jiwa

Aku
pemberi
hidu dan rasa

Aku
pemilik
dan sang pemberi

sendunya
rohku ini

Aku
yang dicaci

Aku
yang malu

Aku yang
dirimu mahu

Aku agresif
aku puitis

Aku

seorang penuilis

ashraf ishak
2hb April 08
5:39 a.m.
Rumah

You know I do

Misguided
under a train
like how I thought
of the rain
shattering clear
mercury
red like anger
I've never
had visions of you
this way

I hate you
I fucking hate you

But I love you
at the same time

You know I do

ashraf ishak
3:40 AM

10TH April 08'
Subang Jaya

Black coffee

The need to blackmail
is the need to hate
just like
the need to exhale
is the need to elevate
minds operate
compensate
to penetrate
and to late
we still fear
the Gods of glory
statutory
rape
and let it drape
dried out
cause the cause of action
really is
a need to succeed
proceed
like the liable causes
of greed

life tastes like black coffee
humor me


ashraf ishak
8:02 AM
8th April 08'
Damansara

Unspoken

Words
nemesis
verbs
past, present, and future
tense
tensed
the ten sentiments
of every paragraph
fulfilled
lust characters
unwillingly written
carefully structured
advice
and facts of life
muted
attained, unattended to
short attention spanned
spasms
but the world heard a voice

unspoken

ashraf ishak
2:01 AM
25FT March 08'
Subang Jaya

My current favourite poet.

Tahani Salah reciting "Hate". A little bit about Tahani Salah Turn up your speakers and listen to the sounds of liberation. Assalamualaikum (May peace be upon you)

Tainted love

Tainted love
burn me with desire
hold my heart
at ease
light up your fire

you sing
a breautiful soul
while it rains
our slender hearts learned

Tainted love
be it
that we meet again
as one will you always be

my tainted love

ashraf ishak
18/3/08
7:03 p.m.
Damansara

Your love is poetry

Your love is poetry
I hear your thoughts
they're holding me
with your words
unfolding me
with your secrets
they're telling me
embrace your warmth
so passionately

Your love is poetry
that every night
I could dream on
your Surah is what
I lean on
gives strength
to my Iman

Your love is poetry
every single day
when I wake up and say
Asyhadu alla illahaillallah
Wa Asyhadu anna Muhammadan Rasulullah

ashraf ishak
10:46 PM
8th March 08'
Subang Jaya

Aku cinta pada dirinya

Angin menyahut diriku
sayu
sepi mimpiku
hari-hari yang terindah
termuah
semuanya terpisah
aku dari jiwaku
kini tidak ada
seperti tidak pernah ada
dengan diriku
kosong
namun
tiap yang menyangka
pergi semua
dari mimpi-mimpiku
sesuatu yang sudah biasa
tidak ada tempat
buat hatiku menyapa
atau menyahut lagi

Aku cinta pada dirinya
aku cinta pada dirinya
aku cinta pada dirinya

ashraf ishak
3:31 Petang
2HB Mac 08'
Jakarta

Aku ada di sana

Ketika
aku tiada apa di dunia
kecuali dirinya
hujan tangis
air mata
pahit tak terasa cukup
terlalu pekat buat diriku
tenang aja sayang
walaupun berat meninggalkan dirimu
tentunya
kita tidak pasti
akan kepastian
semuanya yang berlaku
menemukan diriku dengan cinta
waktu masih ada
membuat aku lebih tua
hari pasti ada
membuat aku lupa
tangis pasti nyata
bila kau melihat senja
aku ada di sana

ashraf ishak
6:57 Malam
2HB Mac 08'

Jakarta

Life on diliberation

Life on deliberation
when it's hard
to put the politics aside
harder to remember
on which blood we
obliged

Life on deliberation
when you pushed against me
we fought back for the glory
of the third world countries

Life on deliberation
you made war
out of guns
with the hate
you've outdone?

Life on deliberation
will there peace on
on this land
and revolutionary
stands?

Now you tell me
After all
it may be nothing worth
talking about

ashraf ishak
11:16 PM
14TH December 08'
Subang Jaya

"There shouldn't be anything that we can't resolve even through the insolence or this abrupt society. There shouldn't be hate, but be there peace and love for all" - ashraf ishak

penawar hatiku

Miss Fynn inspired me to write this one. So here's to you Fynn. Enjoy.

Kau
penawar hatiku

Kau
segala yang
membuat aku pilu

Kau
seperti hujan
langit yang gelap

Seperti berderai
debu dan asap

Kau
membunuh semua cerita

Kau
itu yang duka dan hampa!.

Kau
seperti pisau
memotong tanganya

Kau
yang membuat ku
bahagia

KAU!
pendusta cinta

Namun kau
penawar hatiku

ashraf ishak
2:36 p.m.
4hb Februari 08'
Rumah

Surreality

A poem I wrote about falling in love after a long tiring sleep in class. Enjoy.

By the we slept
it made us look
as if we had fallen in love
in the same parrarel mind
in the same sequence of dream
we had forgotten who we are
lost...
in this concrete diversity
of surreal fictions
moving in and out of trance
giving away the opportunity
to surrender ourselves
to the real world

ashraf ishak
19th April 04
Commuter Station
Subang Jaya

Dear God

A testimony that we shouldn't take life for granted and that there is a reason why were made to live. I wrote this based on my cousin who went into a coma from lupus, which is a rare white blood cell disease. Enjoy.

Dear God
you answered my prayers
from those tears they cried
I heard you call me
in my dreams
when everyone else
was talking to me
in my sleep
was a vision
black and white streaks of light
i became a part of you
and you were in me

Dear God
you woke me up one day
telling me I should live
more days of my life
better then it was yesterday
but yesterday we moved along
eventhough I'm hurt
I still have you
and I thank you for that
dear God

ashraf ishak
26th October 06
2:48 a.m.
Babak's

Begitu juga aku

Ini bukan jodoh kita
kita perlu lebih masa
kita perlu saling mengenal
kita perlu saling menanya
ada cara
namun tak sempurna
itu kau mau
tak semuanya sama
berbalah
bertekak tak siapa yang mengerti
terlalu mencintai
bersumpah sampai mati
seperti
sebelum
yang kau minta itu
kata putus
yang kau seru
tanpa alasan yang membutuh
kau terburu
dengan semua kehendakmu
tak ada yang pernah
salah di pihakmu
ku setuju

kalau cinta itu buta
begitu juga aku



ashraf ishak
6:05 am

29 Januari 08
Rumah

For you

I gave up
my heart
for a love
too confusing
to understand
made ways
with a friend
and parted
with the things
I held on to
we were moving forward
too fast at a time
did we not loose control
and now this?
I've waited too long
to tell you
I've given up
given up on us
like how you did
except you've done it
on purpose

If this is what you meant
thank you
with all my heart

ashraf ishak
7:48 a.m.
27TH January 08'
Subang Jaya

God be with us

When the skies are
clear blue
you let love in,
you let God
diminish all your sins
you let time
to awake your senses
make it clear
let a teardrop
take away your fear
for now
you are with us
bound with love,
made to live
while you
may you not have
seen the light
but God
he'd be with us
tonight

ashraf ishak
7:13 AM
27TH Jan 08'
Subang Jaya

Hidup dalam mimpi

Cinta itu tak tau makna, budaya atau sebaliknya. Cinta tak kenal rupa atau hati budi kita. Cinta itu buta.....

Malam ini
langit gelap
tiada bintang dapat menatap gundahku
tapi aku
yang kini jauh dari mimpi-mimpiku
merasakan yang kita teringin
semuanya untuk tidak terjadi
malam.....
meratap wajahmu
aku kelu
dan kita bersama
hidup dalam mimpi ini



11:44 p.m.
2/4/06
Jalan Alor

Feels like the first time

Turn back
just to get a stare
but the lights were too bright
to get a glare
before this was that expectation
that the resemblance
was pretty much akward
we took shots at each other
thinking the lines that we started off with
became that of our own liking
here's to all the the lies we made up
feels like the first time......

11:00 p.m.
4/6/06
La Bodega

For Peace

This is a new poem I wrote today. It might not mean anything, but I'll explain it at the end. 

I'd smoke it 
but I would have
chocked it
I'd poke it 
but it's 
already boken 

The Fathwa Lingua 
of this society 
isn't what it is 
or is it even 
what it used to be 

We've leaned 
to hate! 
for what we have
made ourselves into 
A perception
only a caveman
could agree
A perception
of how man 
used to live 

I hate 
what changes they made 
to the world
I'm abused 
by the scattering 
gathering, forgetting 
what it was like 
to be alive 

I'd smoke it 
but I would have 
chocked it 
I'd poke it 
but it was 
already broken 


The Meaning of things 

 I'd smoke it 
but I would have chocked it 

Is how a head of the hunters would smoke after achieving something, but in the future, "the ones suited up" would choke on their smoke after they found out how much they've made out of money money laundring. 

I'd poke it 
ut it was 
already broken 

Is how an adventurer would find land to conquere but in the end "the ones suited up" gets it all f'ed 

 The rest Go figure.

Komunis Puitis

Menitis rokok
cair meja kayuku
berselindung cahaya
pandangan sejenak

pita malam mata duitan
mencatar waktu buku berselerak
hidup susah mati senang
tutup bahasa layang-layang

Bijih benih hancur bertaburan
jari terluka mengukur jalan
zaman penjajah sudah berubah
sejarah laju dari berita
figura Malaya durhaka bondanya
cukup waktu mengisi ruang
walaupun kaya makan sepinggan
tercabar minda kias berjalan
angkat sumpah pecah tembelang
terbicara alibi nota noktah!
minyak jatuh timbul tenggelam
malam berlabuh tanpa sinar
kata semangat dilarutkan hujan

12/4/2006
Sebuah rumah di ss12
Waktu: tidak diketahui

To whom it may concern

Once you've gotten hold
of what's left
you wouldn't want
to let go
for that day
when everything went wrong
has gone
forbid me from lies
despite nothing I said was right
I've tried fighting
but I've lost once too many times
the fear of failure is unbreakable
but it's better to fail the first try
then the next time around

ashraf ishak
2:15 PM
11TH May 07'
Kuala Lumpur

Mengejar bintang di langit

Mengejar bintang di langit adalah inspirasi dari sebuah lagu dari band saya yang bernama Sakti. Ia mengisahkan satu perpisahan yang teramat sedih. Puisinya berbunyi begini...

Ku melonjak dari mimpi
menjelang dewasa ini
siapa yang menyangka
ku cari jawapanya
yang itu bukan dia
yang ini bukan kita
yang hanya membuta
bukan cinta sebenar
atau
kau hanya mungkin
memberi sebanyak itu
tanpa arah menentu
hanya itu ku tahu
menyuluh gemerlapan pagi
menanti yang tak dipasti
mencari yang menyepi
dan ku akan tetap
mengejar bintang di langit

ashraf ishak
2:50 p.m.
13 Disember 2007


Lyrics Mengejar bintang di langit

Diriku
seperti dirimu
menjadi satu harapan
mengapa kau kembali
dan kita
hilang bersasama
dan kita
hanya berdua

hatiku
memegang janjimu
melafazkan tanda tanya
apa itu yang kau mahu
walaupun
diriku tahu
dirimu
bukan yang sepertinya
dahulu

kau
yang ingin berlari pergi
menunggu yang tak dipasti
mencari yang menyepi
dan ku
mengajar bintang di langit
untuk tahu sebenarnya
kebenaran dalam cinta

Lanny Barbie

The name Flarf comes from flarfy which means purple, a reference used for marijuana. Flarf is satire, intentionally inappropriate poetry made by Google sculpting and trust me, there is even an array of flarf poets. Here's my flarf poem inspired by a certain "website". Enjoy.

Cherokee bodybuilders in Heat,
Lesbians on leather couches,
A dream of a blowjob,
pretty in pink,
big butt parade,
three boys and three girls,
cum bubbles,
Germans fuck in a train,
beautiful brunette with big titts riding,
giving blowjobs to Elvis
double orgasms
oiled up and horny
in the end
Lanny Barbie serves her man

ashraf ishak
10:39 PM
18th January 08'
Subang Jaya

Satu Malam

Satu malam
untuk kau ku peluk
kau cium
kau ku cinta
kau ku punya

Satu malam
untuk ku luahkan
ku jadikan
ku janjikan
ku berikan

Satu malam
untuk semuanya
segalanya
tak tersua
tak ternyata

Satu malam
untuk kau miliki
ku perhati
ku tepati
ku berjanji

kalau cuma ada satu malam
akan ku jadikan itu
malam terindah buatmu

ashraf ishak
14/01/08
6:57 a.m.
Rumah

Sayang

Semuanya tak terbinahanya dengan kata-kata
rambut sama hitam
tapi hati berbeda
ku hanya
dapat mengungkap dengan sebuah pena
tak akan menghiraumu
dengan sewena-wena
kalau ada salahku
harap dimaafkan
InsyaAllah
jodoh kita ditemukan
biarpun nanti
takdir kita dipisahkan
janganlah kau menunggu
dengan penuh harapan
ucapan
ini hanya untuk dirimu sayang
ucapan
ini tatkala rindu
harap disimpan
Dia
yang menentukan Qada' dan Qadar
namun kau dalam hatiku
tak akan pernah pudar

ashraf ishak
14HB Januari 08'
5:50 Pagi
Rumah

Untitled 08

The smell of mixed fumes,
weighing my eyes
wishing I was dead
instead
testosterone pills fumigating
like wild fire
render speechless
although it was her to speak her mind
countlessly manufacturing
thought provocative seeds
planted beneath every erection
that he bleeds
the power to immune
simply cannot be the stronghold
of the minds
confused, infused and defused
abused thoroughly
even as we speak
the intriguing truth
lies skin deep

ashraf ishak
6:25 PM
11TH January 08'
Subang Jaya

Untitled 07'

I've not been updating. So here's a new one I wrote last December. Happy New year, and a Salam Maal Hijrah for those I've not wished. Happy Reading.

If your heart's too soft
for someone to keep
break a million more
till it's hard to speak
every moment
is worth the while
that every night
she gently weeps
for today
I'll be here
waiting in my sleep
with silent desperations
that no other could see
for that
of who I am
is who I need
Love's the only cure
for this lonely heart
that I myself broke
love's the only word
that I could choke on
without opening my eyes
true love never existed
simmingly openly blistered
take me not with you
for I am love's fool
and I've been cheated
by you